[Godspeed, exhausted mother. Bro will lean back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he starts the story.]
Once upon a time, there was a little village out in the boonies called Loserville. Loserville was filled with a buncha weaklings who didn't believe in violence. Pacifists, the whole lot of 'm. That's why, for the past few years, Loserville was being plagued by a pack of vicious wolves. The wolves would eat their food, sit in their chairs and sleep in their beds. On Monday mornings, when the wolves were feelin' especially bad-tempered, they'd beat up the kids living in Loserville and take their lunch money.
Fed up with the wolves, the residents of Loserville decided to gather up all their savings and hire a specialist. That's how our hero, the Pied Strider, came to town. A dashing agent of justice, the Pied Strider was known far and wide for being downright awesome. Using his leet musical skills, he hypnotized the wolves and led them out into the forest, away from the village. The plan was to lock the wolves away in a cave, but just as he arrived at the cave entrance, he was approached by Lil Cal Riding Hood.
"Don't seal the wolves away," said Lil Cal Riding Hood in a pitiful little high-pitched voice. "They may have eaten my grandmother before my very eyes, but I've made peace with it. It's in their nature to be huge fucking douchebags. They don't deserve to die of boredom in a cave."
The Pied Strider shook his head. As much as wanted to spare the wolves of their wretched fate, the villagers had paid him to get rid of them. What was there to be done?
[... Is the kid still with him? This is only the prelude of the story, the real shit will hit the fan soon enough.]
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Once upon a time, there was a little village out in the boonies called Loserville. Loserville was filled with a buncha weaklings who didn't believe in violence. Pacifists, the whole lot of 'm. That's why, for the past few years, Loserville was being plagued by a pack of vicious wolves. The wolves would eat their food, sit in their chairs and sleep in their beds. On Monday mornings, when the wolves were feelin' especially bad-tempered, they'd beat up the kids living in Loserville and take their lunch money.
Fed up with the wolves, the residents of Loserville decided to gather up all their savings and hire a specialist. That's how our hero, the Pied Strider, came to town. A dashing agent of justice, the Pied Strider was known far and wide for being downright awesome. Using his leet musical skills, he hypnotized the wolves and led them out into the forest, away from the village. The plan was to lock the wolves away in a cave, but just as he arrived at the cave entrance, he was approached by Lil Cal Riding Hood.
"Don't seal the wolves away," said Lil Cal Riding Hood in a pitiful little high-pitched voice. "They may have eaten my grandmother before my very eyes, but I've made peace with it. It's in their nature to be huge fucking douchebags. They don't deserve to die of boredom in a cave."
The Pied Strider shook his head. As much as wanted to spare the wolves of their wretched fate, the villagers had paid him to get rid of them. What was there to be done?
[... Is the kid still with him? This is only the prelude of the story, the real shit will hit the fan soon enough.]