[Well, don't fall asleep just yet, kid. Bro's getting to the good part, now.]
The place was dark and silent. Our four heroes wandered through the halls, calling for the Huntsman, but there was no reply. They entered the kitchen to find a weird sight. On the ground were the Huntsman's clothes, but there was no Huntsman! The Pied Strider and the young Knight exchanged glances again, but it was the Wasted Witch who broke the silence. "A wolf got to him first!" she shrieked like a hysterical maniac. "He was eaten and all that was left were his clothes!"
Everyone hung their shoulders. "With the Huntsman gone, who will help us gather up the wolves?" Lil Cal Riding Hood asked in a timid voice. "And who will keep me company?" the Wasted Witch chimed in, giving a loud, dramatic wail. "Who will organize rad dance parties?" the young Knight wondered aloud. But the Pied Strider wasn't listening. His gaze was on the clothes, as something was stirring within. So he sank down to one knee, reached inside the Huntsman's shirt and pulled out a big ol' nasty frog. Green, slimy, smelly and covered with warts.
The other three backed away in horror, but not the Pied Strider. He set the frog down on the table to watch it and then he understood. It wasn't a frog at all, it was the Huntsman. The wolves had put a spell on him so that he couldn't help the Pied Strider and his friends seal them away. He explained it to his friends, who shook their heads helplessly. "Great," said the young Knight. "That's just as bad as him being eaten. How's he supposed to help us as a frog? He can't hold a gun, or a crossbow, or even an axe."
It was the Wasted Witch who came up with a solution. Drunk and whiny as she was, she was wise when it came to magic spells. "It's said that a kiss of the One True Badass can undo frog transformations." Everyone stared at her like she was a moron. See, the One True Badass was a myth that was told far and wide. It was said that when the need was greatest, the One True Badass would emerge from the populace and save the day. Of course, it was just that- a myth. But the Wasted Witch shook her head and insisted that it was real. It was a prophecy made by the wisest seer and it would come to pass the very next day.
"But if the seer predicted the One True Badass would meet a person turned into a frog, that could mean the One True Badass is one of us!" Lil Cal Riding Hood deduced. Because what were the chances of someone else being turned into a frog recently, right? "Let's all try kissing the frog and see what happens!"
The Wasted Witch immediately backed away, making a face like this- [Bro makes an overly disgusted face at the kid, before continuing with the story.] "No way am I going to kiss a stinky old toad! Being the One True Badass isn't worth that kind of torture!" So she stood by the side as the other three lined up to kiss the frog.
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The place was dark and silent. Our four heroes wandered through the halls, calling for the Huntsman, but there was no reply. They entered the kitchen to find a weird sight. On the ground were the Huntsman's clothes, but there was no Huntsman! The Pied Strider and the young Knight exchanged glances again, but it was the Wasted Witch who broke the silence. "A wolf got to him first!" she shrieked like a hysterical maniac. "He was eaten and all that was left were his clothes!"
Everyone hung their shoulders. "With the Huntsman gone, who will help us gather up the wolves?" Lil Cal Riding Hood asked in a timid voice. "And who will keep me company?" the Wasted Witch chimed in, giving a loud, dramatic wail. "Who will organize rad dance parties?" the young Knight wondered aloud. But the Pied Strider wasn't listening. His gaze was on the clothes, as something was stirring within. So he sank down to one knee, reached inside the Huntsman's shirt and pulled out a big ol' nasty frog. Green, slimy, smelly and covered with warts.
The other three backed away in horror, but not the Pied Strider. He set the frog down on the table to watch it and then he understood. It wasn't a frog at all, it was the Huntsman. The wolves had put a spell on him so that he couldn't help the Pied Strider and his friends seal them away. He explained it to his friends, who shook their heads helplessly. "Great," said the young Knight. "That's just as bad as him being eaten. How's he supposed to help us as a frog? He can't hold a gun, or a crossbow, or even an axe."
It was the Wasted Witch who came up with a solution. Drunk and whiny as she was, she was wise when it came to magic spells. "It's said that a kiss of the One True Badass can undo frog transformations." Everyone stared at her like she was a moron. See, the One True Badass was a myth that was told far and wide. It was said that when the need was greatest, the One True Badass would emerge from the populace and save the day. Of course, it was just that- a myth. But the Wasted Witch shook her head and insisted that it was real. It was a prophecy made by the wisest seer and it would come to pass the very next day.
"But if the seer predicted the One True Badass would meet a person turned into a frog, that could mean the One True Badass is one of us!" Lil Cal Riding Hood deduced. Because what were the chances of someone else being turned into a frog recently, right? "Let's all try kissing the frog and see what happens!"
The Wasted Witch immediately backed away, making a face like this- [Bro makes an overly disgusted face at the kid, before continuing with the story.] "No way am I going to kiss a stinky old toad! Being the One True Badass isn't worth that kind of torture!" So she stood by the side as the other three lined up to kiss the frog.