While the overall application so far was good (and the sample was outstanding), we would like to request an extended personality sample. You seem to have covered all of Anri's major points; but we would like some more insight into these traits, as well as some further elaboration. What are her hopes and dreams; does she have any other facets or quirks to her personality? How does she react and behave around others? What are some of her flaws; and what are her thoughts about herself?
If you respond to this comment with your revisions, we'll look them over ASAP! You'll have until 03/07.
does this work? I added an entire paragraph, and also added something onto the paragraph about saika
[ Personality ] : As cliche as it sounds, Anri is a very misunderstood girl and is debilitatingly shy and reserved. She was once very close friends with Mika Harima, though they both knew used each other to make each other look better. When Mika disappeared, however, Anri became a little lost and began to withdraw into herself. Bullies from her class have called her a parasite, which is a good way to put it- she's dependent to a fault. Without Mika, Anri has lost a sense of purpose, but thanks to Mikado and Masaomi, she now sees her importance to them, and has come to an agreement of sorts with herself that she must protect them. Around others (save for Masaomi, Mikado, and Celty to an extent), Anri is very quiet, trying to attract as little attention as possible. This doesn't always work, though- when she volunteered to be class rep at school, gyaru chicks from her class hunted her down to give her a good talking to about how she has no right to try and 'act all hot without Mika Harima around'. These are the same girls who have called her a parasite, and Anri's spent quite some time believing such. (However, this is not because of the bullying itself. She simply agrees with them.) Anri's very unassuming, but she's also completely willing to believe people think the worst of her. She considers herself unable to love, namely because of how she closed her heart to the world when she was younger. It's proven to be somewhat wrong by Izaya Orihara, however, when he threatens to shoot a couple of strangers in front of her. Her lack of strong emotion helps her in successfully controlling the Saika blade, though, as Saika takes advantage of love and other emotions to possess her wielder. Because of her control over Saika, though, she's come to see herself as something of a monster, and in a lot of ways sympathizes deeply with Celty, the headless rider. She's surprisingly loyal to and protective of those close to her, however. She's willing to do anything to protect Mikado and Masaomi, especially since they also have their secrets to keep. She sends members of the Saika army to protect Dollars members when the war between them and the Yellow Scarves reached a fever pitch, and shows up at the showdown of the Yellow Scarves and Blue Squares to help support her two friends. When Masaomi is about to be killed by the leader of the Blue Squares, a Yellow Scarf stops him, claiming 'Mother would be sad if this one were to die'. Though she sees herself as the parasite the bullies call her, she does what she can to not simply rely on her friends for companionship.
Congratulations! Your application has been accepted into Vatheon.
Now that you're in the game, please follow the next few house-keeping steps. ☆ Comment here: #-H, I-Q or R-Z on the Taken Characters post. ☆ Join vatheon, caughtinanetwork, vatheonooc, batheon and our dressing room starfishbucks with your character journal. Participation in Starfishbucks is not mandatory, but if you help a potential applicant voice-test, it would be much appreciated all around. ☆ Add your information here at the Player Contact page. ☆ Reread the rules and premise for a refresher. ☆ A list of permissions posts for the characters of the game can be found here. Please take a look at the posts there, and if you need a permissions post for your character, don’t forget to post a link there! ☆ Introduce yourself over at vatheonooc ☆ Game chat is on AIM, group name vatheon. Information about it can be found on the game's ooc community. ☆ While not required, it is highly suggested that you set up a Voicemail entry for your character. Be sure to use the ‘date out of order’ option!
If you have any further questions or comments, please head over to the f.a.q. Congratulations again, and we hope you enjoy the swim!
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Wavering
If you respond to this comment with your revisions, we'll look them over ASAP! You'll have until 03/07.
does this work? I added an entire paragraph, and also added something onto the paragraph about saika
As cliche as it sounds, Anri is a very misunderstood girl and is debilitatingly shy and reserved. She was once very close friends with Mika Harima, though they both knew used each other to make each other look better. When Mika disappeared, however, Anri became a little lost and began to withdraw into herself. Bullies from her class have called her a parasite, which is a good way to put it- she's dependent to a fault. Without Mika, Anri has lost a sense of purpose, but thanks to Mikado and Masaomi, she now sees her importance to them, and has come to an agreement of sorts with herself that she must protect them.
Around others (save for Masaomi, Mikado, and Celty to an extent), Anri is very quiet, trying to attract as little attention as possible. This doesn't always work, though- when she volunteered to be class rep at school, gyaru chicks from her class hunted her down to give her a good talking to about how she has no right to try and 'act all hot without Mika Harima around'. These are the same girls who have called her a parasite, and Anri's spent quite some time believing such. (However, this is not because of the bullying itself. She simply agrees with them.) Anri's very unassuming, but she's also completely willing to believe people think the worst of her.
She considers herself unable to love, namely because of how she closed her heart to the world when she was younger. It's proven to be somewhat wrong by Izaya Orihara, however, when he threatens to shoot a couple of strangers in front of her. Her lack of strong emotion helps her in successfully controlling the Saika blade, though, as Saika takes advantage of love and other emotions to possess her wielder. Because of her control over Saika, though, she's come to see herself as something of a monster, and in a lot of ways sympathizes deeply with Celty, the headless rider.
She's surprisingly loyal to and protective of those close to her, however. She's willing to do anything to protect Mikado and Masaomi, especially since they also have their secrets to keep. She sends members of the Saika army to protect Dollars members when the war between them and the Yellow Scarves reached a fever pitch, and shows up at the showdown of the Yellow Scarves and Blue Squares to help support her two friends. When Masaomi is about to be killed by the leader of the Blue Squares, a Yellow Scarf stops him, claiming 'Mother would be sad if this one were to die'. Though she sees herself as the parasite the bullies call her, she does what she can to not simply rely on her friends for companionship.
ACCEPTED
Now that you're in the game, please follow the next few house-keeping steps.
☆ Comment here: #-H, I-Q or R-Z on the Taken Characters post.
☆ Join
☆ Add your information here at the Player Contact page.
☆ Reread the rules and premise for a refresher.
☆ A list of permissions posts for the characters of the game can be found here. Please take a look at the posts there, and if you need a permissions post for your character, don’t forget to post a link there!
☆ Introduce yourself over at
☆ Game chat is on AIM, group name vatheon. Information about it can be found on the game's ooc community.
☆ While not required, it is highly suggested that you set up a Voicemail entry for your character. Be sure to use the ‘date out of order’ option!
If you have any further questions or comments, please head over to the f.a.q.
Congratulations again, and we hope you enjoy the swim!