While your application has a good start and a very strong sample, we would like to ask for a revision on your personality section. The majority of it read too much like a history section for us to get good insight into his personality and your understanding of it. We would like to see less focus on what happened and when, and more on what this tells us about him and the way he ticks.
If you respond to this comment with your revisions, we'll look them over ASAP! You have until 05/02.
Revision
☆ Revision - - -
While your application has a good start and a very strong sample, we would like to ask for a revision on your personality section. The majority of it read too much like a history section for us to get good insight into his personality and your understanding of it. We would like to see less focus on what happened and when, and more on what this tells us about him and the way he ticks.
If you respond to this comment with your revisions, we'll look them over ASAP! You have until 05/02.