thalassino | RPG event - Quest NPC Contact

Aww, sorry, lil' sis.

[Gosh, some people get so fussy about these words, man. Just gotta chill more. They are just words!]

So, where's your bro at?

You bet I drew 'em myself! Now, this is kinda old, wrote this a few years ago, but it's still some of my best work. It's called Wizardy Herbert.

[ Roxy plops down with the kid and cracks open her notebook to start reading.

And reading.

And then there's some more reading. ]

"i think you were supposed to just tackle him," beatrix said looking all kinds of put off.

wizardy herbert reached down to the body of the fictional camper he just shot and picked up the flag. "same difference."

"IS it?"

"this is some lame magical version of capture the flag. the book wanted me to capture the flag from him. the flag has now been captured. anyway, hes just a kind of brainless puppet."

"then what are we?" she asked.

"i dunno. brainless puppets whove spent a few years in the real world. kind of like everyone else, i suppose."

"jeez thats cynical. anyway, youre the one who said we should let the story play out the way its supposed to. im just pointing out your own rules."

"ehhh." herbert made a dismissive gesture with his smoking gun. "these punks were starting to get on my nerves. we're making progress anyway. see? listen to that. russets scene is coming up. if i remember right this is the one that introduces his recurring love interest. also i guess the chief bad guy. i mean, sorta."

she listened. there was yelling through the woods. it was coming closer.

"help! herb! bea! where are you?!"

"herbert - OW - will you do something? OWW! sunuva. this cant be right!"

herbert aimed carefully with his beretta at the head of russets assailant. he was way serious and stone cold about it. he was not going to miss.

BANG.

he missed. beatrix was grabbing his arm redirecting his aim. "herbert you have to stop!"

"why beatrix" he said with a super sly smile. "if i didnt know better, id say you were taking some enjoyment from watchin your dear pal russets smackdown."

"what? no!" she didnt let go of his arm. but he wouldnt quit his douchey smile. she went on. "you cant just keep offing fictional characters. its... i dunno. irresponsible."

"yeah yeah."

"besides you know the scene is supposed to play out like this. russet is supposed to get rescued. how is he supposed to get rescued if the bullies are dead? you cant just go around changing things."

"i guess youre right."

herbert holstered his gun admiring a few more choice sucker punches to russets midriff. OOF. that onell leave a mark. beatrix regained her calm. "so whos this guy thats supposed to save him?" she asked. "you say hes the villain?"

"here he comes now."

beatrix squinted at the serpenook boy. she didnt know why she couldnt see it coming. "grant??"

"a favor?" russet said. but he was barely listening. the resemblance to his real life friend was uncanny. he was sure it was him. but here in this dumb prison he was no more than a soulless mannequin dreamt up to recite insipid horseshit.

actually he said it like a zombie. "never. ill never betray my friends."

"russet" he whispered.

the guy paused to remove his glasses and polished them on his sash. it came off as a seriously dramatic gesture, just as intended and also as explicitly stated in the text.

[ And it just keeps going. ]

The end!

[Man, rude! Sure, Eridan's a little rough, and not all that polite, and would sass even Mother Theresa... Okay, no he totally deserves this.]

[For a second, Eridan thinks that the spell went off, and that he might have opened the beast up for a spell--but then the monster's swing connects with his body, and he's hurled through the air. Solidly connecting with the wall.]

...Fuck. [He practically hisses.]

[After a few moments of writhing from the pain of it, he forces himself to stand, because he hardly has the time to lose over something so minute like pain. Eridan usually can take more damage than this, but that's the wonderful thing about this curse, his own personal strengths mean nothing. He levels a glare at the beast, and again he raises his staff.]

Bolt!

[He focuses on the beast, letting the electrical energy surge through the air, arching from the tip of his staff towards the minotaur. If anything, that hit served to give Eridan the safety of distance to properly retaliate, even if it was a hefty price to pay for it.]

Hey, thanks little lady! Say, do you want some of these?

[He holds out a bag of clearly marked... pet cookies.]

...well, uhh, maybe you know a beast master who needs them?

I'm sure I can find somefin to do with them.

[ She looks rather downtrodden, though. ]

You don't have anything tasty, like fish candy?

[That's exactly what she's going to do, but she wanted to give the boys the option of cooperating first.]

Don't worry, I got this.

[She'll have to use fire to do it, but she's trying to be careful and not catch anything in the room on fire as she blasts through the wall.]

He's on his OWN side, with all his mess!

[There's a kick against the wall from the other side at that. Rude, brother! Rude!]

This nice... umm... this nice adventurer brought you a magic potion! Do you want to try it?

Yeah, it's very useful. Thank you so much for teaching it to me!

[She'll go ahead and give the man a quick hug, trying not to knock the book out of his hands.]

[The boy is so confused. He can't tell exactly what's going on in this story... was it even all written by the same person? He tries to keep track, but he just can't. Soon enough, sitting still that long has put him to sleep. Victory! Sort of.]

[While she's never been too fond or sure around wigglers, points re points and dear god is her life a tale or too. This should be easy as pie.

And so when he rocks up in her cleavage showing rogue outfit to find the mum she doesn't really bother too much with pleasantries.]

Which direction is he in?

[Gamzee gives a nod.]

Yeah, come check it. Most bitchtits elixir what be. Come check it, just for you and your bro. For getting you to be better bros again.

[ Hey she told the mom she guaranteed she'd put the kid to sleep, and she put the kid to sleep!

She's just going to quietly slip out of the room while he's snoozing. ]

Sure! I'm sure Arty would love them! Thanks a lot.

[Yaaay rewards~]

[He'll just help that along by playing Zelda's Lullaby on the Ocarina of Time. It may not be magical right now thanks to the curse, but it's a soothing song all the same.]

[Really, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little self conscious. It was hard not to be once they started gaining a crowd.

But the tune was strangely catchy, the energy infectious and even with that he's actually able to keep up quite well.]

Gufu~ Oh, quite a lot of time to gain a few seconds. Though it seemed quite real. [Undertaker grins a bit, allowing his hair to fall back into his face and fixing up the hood once more.]

[The bolt hits, and though it does look like it damaged the minotaur, it keeps advancing. It'll take a lot more to get it to slow down. Like a couple spells in quick succession, perhaps. It's too bad Eridan can't just bend time to make things a little easier...]

[He does try. And the weapon was interesting to note, after seeing what most clerics got, but it did make sense given his own multi-fauceted weapon.]

I'm not sure who "they" are, but it seems to me you've more than proven yourself, if you're good enough to pass on skills to other clerics.

Fish candy?

[Does he ever! Everyone hated the Valentine's chocolates! The baker hauls out a whole BAG of the stuff. Unfortunately it's not enchanted like the cookies or the chocolates she got from the inn keeper, but still. Fishy-flavored chocolates!]

Hm. I think I can do that! I can make it big and colorful! It might take a little while to draw it, but as soon as I'm done I'll play!

Wait, wait, don't -

Our wall!

[BOOM! The wall is gone. It was the only destroyable wall in the room, so everything else is just fine. Both boys stare at each other for a minute.]

Girls are scary.

Yeah... no girls allowed in our room!

Ugh, fine!

[She turns to smile at Nanaki.]

Thanks. Honestly, I'd rather not be in their room anyway. They DO leave stuff all over the floor! Umm, here, I found this in the jar I was using to climb in the window!

[The sister digs in her pocket and pulls out... three mp potions!]

[Indeed. Shiro is even left thinking that he might be as small as the white haired girl from HOMURA. That's... pretty damn tiny. And deceiving, given the voice that comes out of the man.

When he speaks, Shiro instantly straightens, trying to look respectful. Never mind that he is, in reality, much older than the teenage body standing before the mage. It still seems like the right thing to do.]

Oh, yes. Yes I am!

[What? Hugging?! He doesn't seem to know what to do with that, and awkwardly pats her on the back before clearing his throat.]

Yes, well, it is my job! Here - you can take this, too.

[He hands her the book he was reading. It's not just any book, though, it's a skill book! If she reads it through, she'll learn the first level of Arcane Blast.]

Ah...

[Juggling clubs? Well, sure, it's still just tossing stuff into the air, he can figure that out.]

Right, okay.

[He directs his Samurai to grab the stack of flyers for him, picks up the clubs, and heads out to the plaza. And, okay, his first few attempts at actually juggling are kind of... clumsy. But then he decides screw that, tosses one of the clubs up into the air, and uses the other two to knock it back up whenever it comes down.

It's probably not what the guy had in mind, but it's something?]

[Well that's super-useful! She'll go ahead and take the potions.]

Thanks! And if they give you any more trouble, just let me know. I'm sure they'd behave better if all the legos they were arguing over were suddenly one melted pile or something.

[That last part she says a bit loudly, moreso to scare the boys into behaving than as a real threat.]

RPG event - Quest NPC Contact

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Re: Tired Mom

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject